Are You Being Treated Like a Pre-Teen in Your Relationship?
Being in a romantic relationship can be a wonderful experience, but it can also be frustrating and hurtful if your partner doesn’t treat you like an adult. If you’ve ever felt like your partner is talking down to you, dismissing your feelings, or treating you like a child, you’re not alone. Here are 5 signs that your partner may actually believe you’re 12 years old.
1. They Talk Down to You
Have you ever felt like your partner is speaking to you in a condescending tone, using a patronizing voice or words that make you feel belittled? This can be a major red flag in a relationship. If your partner is consistently talking down to you, it may be a sign that they don’t respect your opinions or think you’re capable of making your own decisions.
🚨 Note: Being talked down to can be especially damaging if you're already struggling with self-doubt or low self-esteem.
2. They Don't Respect Your Boundaries
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. If your partner consistently disregards your boundaries or ignores your needs, it may be a sign that they don’t see you as an equal. This can manifest in many ways, such as showing up uninvited, pushing you to do things you’re not comfortable with, or dismissing your feelings when you express them.
- Examples of disrespecting boundaries include:
- Showing up at your workplace or home uninvited
- Pushing you to engage in physical or emotional intimacy when you’re not ready
- Ignoring your needs and prioritizing their own desires
3. They Make Decisions for You
While it’s okay to seek input and guidance from your partner, it’s not okay for them to make decisions for you without your consent. If your partner is consistently making choices for you, such as what you wear, what you eat, or what you do with your free time, it may be a sign that they don’t think you’re capable of making your own decisions.
🚨 Note: Being controlled or manipulated can be a sign of emotional abuse. If you're feeling trapped or suffocated in your relationship, it may be time to seek help.
4. They Use Guilt or Shame to Control You
Using guilt or shame to control someone’s behavior is a classic manipulation tactic. If your partner is consistently making you feel bad about yourself, your choices, or your feelings, it may be a sign that they don’t respect your autonomy. This can manifest in many ways, such as making you feel guilty for spending time with friends, for pursuing your own interests, or for expressing your own opinions.
- Examples of using guilt or shame include:
- Making you feel bad for saying no to sex or physical intimacy
- Guilt-tripping you into doing things you don’t want to do
- Shaming you for expressing your own opinions or feelings
5. They Don't Take You Seriously
Finally, if your partner doesn’t take you seriously, it may be a sign that they don’t see you as an adult. This can manifest in many ways, such as dismissing your concerns, minimizing your feelings, or making jokes at your expense.
- Examples of not taking you seriously include:
- Laughing at your concerns or feelings
- Minimizing your experiences or opinions
- Dismissing your needs or desires
If you’ve identified with any of these signs, it may be time to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and compassion – and if your partner is not providing that, it may be time to move on.
Being in a relationship should make you feel good about yourself, not bad. Remember to prioritize your own needs, boundaries, and feelings, and don’t be afraid to seek help if you’re struggling.
You are not 12 years old, and you deserve to be treated like an adult.
What are some signs of emotional abuse in a relationship?
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Some signs of emotional abuse in a relationship include being talked down to, being controlled or manipulated, being shamed or guilt-tripped, and being consistently dismissed or minimized.
How can I communicate my boundaries effectively in a relationship?
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Communicating your boundaries effectively in a relationship involves being clear, direct, and respectful. Make sure to use “I” statements, set specific boundaries, and be open to feedback and compromise.
What should I do if I’m feeling trapped or suffocated in my relationship?
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If you’re feeling trapped or suffocated in your relationship, it may be time to seek help. Consider talking to a therapist, trusted friend or family member, or support hotline. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and it’s okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.
